My surgeon also asked me how the pain levels were for me after surgery and I told him that it was so tolerable that I was pleasantly surprised. He had told me it was going to hurt so badly that I was expecting some horrible amount of pain and he said that it can be so hard to judge how each person will handle a surgery like that. I have decided that I am just a bad ass… and can handle pain like a champ. Lol
Now that everything looks awesome I just feel so much better about my body. My left breast is no longer totally different looking than the right. I don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable when James looks at it. That isn’t to say that I love everything about my body. The fact is I am a girl… and every girl has something that she doesn’t like. I don’t blame the media for this like so many people do...because simply put the media only shows us what it knows we want to see. For centuries women have been trying to look “perfect”. You can look all the way back to the Renaissance Period and even then we had women who tried to be as skinny as possible by wearing corsets. As much as “we” all want to say that every size is beautiful… we also mock people who we deem bigger… we make fun of them, cringe at them, judge the clothes they wear, etc.
Women are constantly judging each other no matter what their size and the media knows we do this… they know we want to see some form of perfect beauty… so they show us that. They show us what we want to see… it fuels our desire to look more perfect. Causes it? No, I don’t think so… but fuels it? Most certainly. But again, I don’t blame them… they are just showing us all what we want to see. And I can admit it… I can admit that I prefer to look at “beautiful” people when I watch shows. Or when I see a magazine. So what does that mean for when I look at myself? I see someone healthy…. Finally. I also see someone who looks pretty sexy all things considered. But I also see imperfections. I see saggy inner thighs that I would love to have fixed. It’s just what happens when you have weight loss like that. I also see a very flat and saggy butt… for the same reason.
There is always something. Always. But in the end I am still really happy. I am so happy that I choose to get healthy. I can walk long distances, climb hills, ride my bike, and even run if I want. I can fit into clothes from the regular rack...I feel confident, beautiful, sexy, and alive!! All of this is so great and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so happy that I opted to have weight loss surgery. It was truly a life changing experience and all for the good.
