Over and Over Again...

As always, I am still at a weight that is healthy, but not where I feel comfortable. I have written about this MANY times and every time I say what I will do and then I do it, for awhile... and then something happens that ruins it or derails it for awhile. It's frustrating and annoying to me. I realize though that this isn't anything new. I have a food problem. That is why I had weight loss surgery in the first place. If it was easy for me to lose weight I wouldn't have gotten fat to begin with. My lowest weight after all the nips and tucks was 145 pounds. That proved to be too skinny and not look as good on me. I eventually got up to 160 and was very happy right there. Looking good and felt good. About 4-5 years ago however I ended up weighing 170-173 pounds steadily. I don't really know for sure what made that happen. Could be many factors I suppose. Not watching my fat and caloric intake well is the most likely culprit. I wasn't happy with that number, but not unhappy either since I still looked good and felt sexy.

Recently I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding and excitedly said yes. My first thought was, I need to get back down to weighing 160 pounds because I need to feel my best for her wedding pictures and look the best I can FOR HER for these photos. I was doing good...started at 174 pounds and lost 3 in just a couple weeks... then I went on a trip for 5 days to New Orleans and of course ate tons of fatty yummy food while there gaining that whole 3 pounds back. THEN, after that I somehow managed to gain an additional 4-5 pounds and now as of this morning I weigh an annoying 180 pounds! ugh... quite frankly I am sad and disappointed in myself. How did this happen? Why did this happen? It all comes down to me and not doing what I already know I should be doing. It's as simple as that really.

SO...enough of the whole, "I'm gonna do this/that/and the other thing starting right now." bullshit. For now on I either do it or I don't, and I don't complain about it anymore. I know how to manage my weight, I know how to live this lifestyle post surgery, and I either do it or don't. Simple. Period. End of story. So no longer will I be bringing this up. The next time you hear from me will either be to say that I did it and reached that 160 pound goal (or very close) or you won't hear from me at all about it because that means I wasn't making an effort. And if I wasn't making a strong effort, then that means it must not be very important to me.

I am so thankful that I was able to have weight loss surgery, I am so thankful it worked and that after that I had tummy tucks and breast lifts/implants. It was painful, but worth it! After that comes management, and really self management is the hardest part of all. No joke! So...there ya go... no more complaints. Cross my heart!

P.S. Yes, this picture is current. Just a few days ago.