When I finally woke up from being under I remember the nurses asking me questions, such as if I knew where I was and stuff. I kept telling them I was at “work”, or I would say I was at Kroger. lol I guess I must have been dreaming about being at work right before I woke up because it was all I could remember. lol Eventually though I realized what was going on and began to come to. Everything hurt, I mean everything! James and the kids and my Mom and Dad came to see me really quick and then they let me go to sleep. I woke up during the night from the nurses and they eventually made me get up and walk. OUCH!! I can not even fully describe how all of this feels.
It is like a wrestler is giving me the biggest bear hug ever. The pressure I am feeling around my stomach and breasts is crazy. Everything feels stretched and pulled so tightly, and the pressure is just...well it’s crazy. Honestly I don’t know how to describe it right. If I don’t take my pain meds it hurts pretty badly, with them it is tolerable. My body looks so different. In a good way and a bad way of course. My tummy is flat now, and my breasts are larger, but everything looks kinda deformed. My boobs are misshapen, they look weird to be honest...very hard feeling and sore. I know that they will look better eventually but right now it’s hard to imagine. Same thing with my tummy...everything is so swollen it looks crazy odd....I feel useless too. I can’t lift my arms because it uses your chest muscles to do that which hurts. I can’t laugh, I can’t cough easy, or anything that really uses those kinds of muscles because it just hurts so damn bad,
My Mom and Dad let me borrow their hospital type bed while I am recovering. It goes up and down and so that makes it easier for me to get up and down. It is in the living room and so I have easy access to the kitchen and bathroom and it is easier for everyone to help me too. I hope that as the weeks go by I won’t be so helpless. I am supposed to go back to work after 4 weeks, hopefully that is not expecting too much.
At my one week appt I will be buying the scar cream that I will be applying everyday and that is supposed to drastically improve my scars. Like crazy drastic. I can’t wait to do that. The two small bottles of it cost $135.00, but it will be well worth it. I imagine that will get put on after showers since I have to wear my garment practically 24/7. I only take it off for showers or to wash it. James says it looks like I am wearing a superhero outfit. lol
James and my parents have been amazing. I couldn’t have asked for a better support system. Doing this alone would be impossible....and I am so thankful to God for them. I will try to write more again soon...I think right now it is time for a nap. My body is working so hard to heal up that it makes me very sleepy. Anyway...till next time. :)
