DRIVING!!

Finally allowed to drive!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!   Feels good to be able to get out of the house and do something on my own.  Granted... I can't go do any major shopping or anything... but I can pick up small things and run errands.  Which is better than nothing.  I am not gonna drive a lot though.  Doing big turns where I am pulling on the steering wheel a lot does make me feel sore… I specifically noticed it when I was backing out of a parking space, or using the roundabouts.  So no traveling far for a while. That’s ok.

Still experiencing pain in both areas of my chest, which; as I mentioned before… can only be related to everything healing in general and nerves reconnecting.  I am taking it easy still. I am doing a bit more… but really not a lot more.  Plus… James won’t let me. Lol  Anyway… just a quick update... ttyl.

Feeling Good and Looking Good!! (In a bikini even!)

I am healing up great and I am so happy about it.  My scar looks just as my surgeon said it would and less red than I expected.  I tried on my bikini top last night and was so excited to see that my breasts look great in it!  You don’t see strange looking cleavage anymore and since he essentially tucked it in right where my original scar was, there is now no scar to be seen!  YAY!  (Now all that I need to do is buy a bikini top that will stay on while swimming lol)  I am experiencing a bit of slight discomfort/pain in the middle of my chest and every once in awhile in my right breast.  I imagine this is common and normal.  Just because the surgery was performed on my left side… doesn’t mean the recovery wouldn’t affect the whole area.  Nerves and sensations travel and all that.  But just the same, if I am still experiencing it when I have my next check up, I will mention it.

I am still in shock at how easy the recovery has been for this procedure.  I seriously could have just dealt with the pain and not taken any pain meds if I had wanted to. The healing process has been great… and right from the get go my breast looked amazing…  my surgeon, Dr. Momoh, is just spectacular and I highly recommend him!  

James and the kids are being super helpful still and the only dinners I have cooked are simple things like chicken patties and french fries. Lol  Isaiah has really stepped it up as well and is learning to cook new things.  I should be able to start driving this Tuesday but James still wants me to take it very easy… not drive far at all.  I plan on going back to the library on the first Tuesday of the month of May, and that will also be me taking it very slow… and not going crazy on how many books I reshelve and such.  If I hurt myself doing all that, James would be very annoyed.  

Anyway, that is the update for now.   I am including a pic of me in the bikini.  Why? Because why the hell not that’s why!  LOL  I am happy.

Conquering Emotions/Habits

“You have no power over me.”  -- Sarah Williams (Film- Labyrinth 1986)

This is my new go to quote/saying.  The “You” isn’t a person necessarily… but anything or anyone that I am letting have control over my emotional health and physical health.  Although I love that movie for many reasons that particular quote has been running through my head for a while now (and it will be on my new tattoo) because of recent scenarios in my life.  
The loss of what I thought was a close friendship caused me to be in a deep sadness for almost a year. I hid it well to the world and only discussed it with a few select friends simply because I don’t feel the need to tell everyone.  Despite the sadness of the loss of the friendship, what was equally sad was that I let it affect me the way it did, and for so long.  I allowed this person to control how I felt… and that is unacceptable.  To let this person's’ actions do that to me… it was an eye opener of my lack of control over myself.  

The other scenario (and it’s the one that relates more to this blog) is my constant struggle with letting the urge to snack control me.  Gastric Bypass surgery helps you lose weight, but it’s controlling your mental desires that is the hard part.  The urge to snack is hard for most people who struggle with losing weight, but for those of us who are/were obese… it’s that much harder.  It’s an addiction… and that makes it very hard to handle.  I do well for the most part… I have maintained my weight loss these last 4 years with the exception of this 7-10 pounds I put on over the course of last summer.  I have been doing great these two weeks though, which is awesome… but it’s mostly because I am stuck at home since surgery and James is with me all the time.  It’s rough.  But I have a plan.

Besides my future tattoo being a reminder, I am making things easier for myself at home so I can be in better control.  I eat too many protein bars when they are around so I am not buying those any more… it’s just the occasional 1 here and there… like once a week.  I am also being very careful to leave myself extra calories for the late evening… since I am awake late at night and always want a snack.  The other problem area is cereal.  I don’t really have cereal for breakfast anymore but what I do instead is I will grab a small handful of cereal out of the box and have that.  I possibly do that 5-8 times a day.   Those calories add up!  And although I do count them on the app My Fitness Pal… it makes my calories go faster than I would like.

To fix this problem I have talked with the kids and we have all agreed to buy less cereal, and that when it runs out it is just out until the next grocery shopping trip comes around.  We will all think of other things to eat for breakfast… eggs, fruit, yogurt, toast, english muffins, pancakes,
muffins, etc.  This was we are ALL eating more healthier items, and I am also better equipped to eat healthy throughout the day.  I am happy to have a family that is so willing to adjust their eating habits to better help me.  I would be a mess if I was left to my own devices.

I have gotten close to losing all that weight I put on over summer… but then I have a bad few days and it comes right back.  Then I get close again… then I slip up again.  The bad eating habits I listed above are a major cause of this so I am very excited to be taking one more step to ensure my continued success at being healthy.  I WILL NEVER become obese again…. And I plan on doing whatever I can to ensure it and will always do it in the healthiest of ways.  

So, there you have it… taking control.  Better control over my emotions, and my eating habits.  I want to be able to do conquer these things in my life that in the past I have been a slave to.  Please pray for me about it… every bit of help is good right?  ;)