U.O.M Surgery Consult

So on Friday the 20th I had my surgical consultation with a new plastic surgeon.  First of all, I really like him.  U.O.M surgeon named Dr. Momoh, younger (maybe my age) handsome man.  He checked me out and I gave them ALL my previous history.  I even had the paperwork.  In the end he said he is going to try to help me.  Now, he can’t make any guarantees of course that what he does will make my left breast look exactly like my right, especially since he won’t really know what he is getting into until he gets inside and sees what my previous doc did…. BUT… he thinks he can do it.  The only problem is that this will require extreme measures since I have been under the knife so many times before, and I have very little breast tissue left and most likely lots of scar tissue.

He will be doing something that he says will be very painful… ugh… essentially attaching my breast from the inside to my ribs, more specifically, the stuff that is attached to the bone of my ribs.  Now don’t take that as exact… I am not sure of the correct words he used, but that is the basics.  He says it will hurt like hell, but should hold everything in place.  

I am of course very nervous and excited.  After I agreed to all  this and he left the room, I started crying. Like a lot.   I think the emotion of it all just hit me hard.  I have wanted this fixed so badly for so long, and to have someone see that there is an issue, and tell me they can potentially help me, well that was just overwhelming.  I was so happy… yet at the same time so nervous.  Will this pain be similar to what I have already experienced before in prior surgeries?  Will it be worse?  Less?  No way to know of course.  Not until I am in recovery.  

After he left and I was done crying a lady came in to take my pictures.  She took me into a room and we did all my before shots so they can have on record what I look like… plus they are a teaching school and so I gave permission for those to be used.  Then I went to the scheduling lady, where she asked me some questions and took some info… and in the end said they are going to try to see if insurance will cover this.  That would be AWESOME if they did… although I am not expecting it.  

No matter what this surgery won’t happen until at least March...because that is when he has openings… which works out great since I was hoping for no earlier than late February.  I should hear back from the hospital in 3-4 weeks whether or not insurance will cover surgery, and no matter what the outcome, I will schedule a surgery date.  

I think my biggest fear is that when this is all said and done,and I have healed up a lot, I will look in the mirror and things won’t look better, they won’t look the same, they will instead look worse.  I mentioned this concern to the doctor and he again said that he can’t make guarantees… but he doesn’t think that will be happening.  If only he could make the guarantee right?  Wouldn’t that be nice.

I saw him as I was leaving the place… walking down a hall and he was walking towards me (this was after I was done with the scheduling lady) and as I passed by him he said goodbye and waved, but I started crying again and just told him thank you… hugged him, and told him how much I appreciate him being willing to help me.  He seemed a bit shocked but also hugged me back and told me it was all gonna be ok.  That’s the kind of doc I like.  :)   I am really hoping and praying everything is ok too…. I have a while to prepare at least… that is one plus! P.S. Wondering what my actual problem is with my breast? Read this post: http://ecm1980.blogspot.com/2015/04/vegasfebruary.html

4 Year Check Up

I had my 4 year check up at the Barix Clinic about a week ago.  It went really well and everyone is pleased with my progress/consistency.  Although the 5 pounds weight gain that I am currently experiencing and trying to lose was mentioned, mostly by me, but also acknowledged by the doctor, everyone seemed unconcerned and said that I know how to lose it, so I just need to do it!!  And they are right.  I have said it before in previous posts and I will say it again… I hate how although surgery can help you lose weight, it can’t change how you think about food.  And how I think is that I want to snack ALL the time and so I end up using up all my calories during the day when I am home alone and then at night when I am up late I get hungry and want to snack. ugh.  Literally a vicious cycle I do to myself.  Willpower/self control is a hard thing for me to master.  I am doing better each day right now… and have lost two pounds of the weight gained as of two days ago.  I am currently not weighing myself everyday as I normally would because I was getting too down on myself each time it wasn’t a number I liked.  In an effort to not cave into my own pressure I had James hide the scale. lol  

Honesty…. with that word in mind I will share that I am mad at myself for being weaker than I want to be… I am frustrated, slightly disappointed, but also determined, and thankful.  Mad because I know better than to get off course with my calories in the first place (especially since this bad trend started in the summer during our vacation months and I have been saying over and over again how I am going to get this under control), frustrated that it is so hard to break the bad habits and get back into the good ones, disappointed that it is taking me so long and that it seems harder and harder each time I slip up, determined because I know my goals and I KNOW I can reach them.  They are literally right in front of my face… and I just need to grab on and hold tight to them, and thankful because as always I have such an amazing support system.  How anyone can lose weight on their own without any help/support from a spouse/loved one/friend is beyond my comprehension.  

In other news… Halloween has come and gone and I am so happy that sugar is no longer in my diet.  Not only can I not eat more than one little teeny tiny piece, I can’t have more than that within an hours time without getting sick… so it basically keeps me away from it and I couldn’t be happier.  This time of year is plagued with sugary sweets and it used to be that saying no to them was an impossibility for me.  Glad that saying no is so easy now.  whew!  

I am taking my regular vitamins still, and have added on calcium and vitamin B.  My nutritionist wants me to take those to boost any deficiencies I might have.   I didn’t have the paperwork at the time of my visit to do the bloodwork but I have it now and will do that soon.  Taking those should help guarantee that everything comes back great.  Now what seems to really be hard is just remembering to take them every day.  For some reason I have a really easy time forgetting… so I have put them in my bathroom so I can just take them before I go to bed, since I shower every night anyway.  :)  

So… that is all for now… hopefully the next time I write it will be to tell you that I reached my gial weight once again! lol

Matthew 19:26 

“But Jesus looked at them and said to them, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”