48 hours After and the First Look!! (Includes a pic with a black out line)

Today I got to finally take a shower.  I had to wait 48 hours since surgery and I was really ready for it. Besides really wanting to see how my breast looked, I also had some seriously oily hair going on. LOL. I was nervous of course about seeing how everything looked.  On previous surgeries when I would look at my breast it always looked awful afterward.  If I was going to give you a word that would come to mind it would be that it looked horrific.  So I was prepared for the worst because the norm is that everything will be swollen and sore and red. I am stuck wearing this huge very snug bra right now for a few weeks so I got ready and took that off… to my surprise, everything looked amazing!!  I mean yah… there is some swelling, and my breast feels hard from it, but man on man, you can tell that the shape is JUST RIGHT!  And it will look perfect when the swelling goes down.  I am so excited about it.  My surgeon did such a great job.  I am very impressed.  It is very very tucked right now underneath, which was exactly what was supposed to happen, and that will eventually smooth out and everything will become relaxed.  I can not even begin to tell you what a feeling of relief I have.  It just feels so good to know that this problem is now taken care of.

At this point it is just all about waiting… waiting a full year for complete healing.  And you know what? I am all good for it!  I don’t mind.  This just makes me feel so much better about how they look and I think I can finally be content with my chest after all this time.  Now I just get to wait for the medical bill to arrive and see what we owe. Lol

So anyway…. There is my quick update.  I am happy…. And that is seriously all I could ask for.  Thank you Lord for leading me to the right surgeon and blessing the procedure.   P.S. The picture below is how it looked this morning. The area I am pointing to is where it is tucked and attached to my rib. That area is swollen and will go down over the course of the year and the skin/scar area will smooth out as well. The breast is swollen too, and feels hard, but that will relax over time as well and look normal. This is so exciting!

Surgery Complete... Recovery in progress.....

I got home from surgery yesterday and as far as I can tell, everything went really well.  With my pain meds (liquid Vicodin) I am tolerating the pain good.  I was taking 2 tsp, but the hospital called this morning and recommended I cut back to 1 tsp since I am doing so well handling it.  Sleeping seemed easy enough.  I can only lay comfortably flat on my back, but that is what I expected.  I tried on my side, but that was not happening.  Even though I am wearing a very snug bra that they gave me, and that I have to wear for like 2-3 weeks straight, I could still feel my breast try to move sideways with me and it just didn’t feel good.  So I went right back to laying on my back.  

Speaking of pain… it’s a very different type of feeling that I am having with this surgery than my previous ones.  It’s hard to explain what it is like… but because my surgeon attached the inner part of my left breast to my top rib bone… I am feeling this strange pressure and odd pain on my rib bones… and it’s just so new to me it’s kind of confusing… makes me unsure of what I can and can’t do physically.  Normally I would think I could lean forward a bit, but I am noticing that right now that bending movement causes a slight pain right on my rib.  I need to be very careful obviously.  

I have not really seen how my breast looks yet.  I can’t even shower until tomorrow, so at this point all I have done is take a peek inside this bra and see the sides.  I can tell that it is VERY tucked in.  Which was the whole point.  He was going to take the area that was sticking out funny, where the implant was basically protruding out and causing a strange extra lump, and tuck that in, so it looked like the other breast.  The part that got tucked in was what he attached to the rib bone.  Right now though it is VERY tucked in… way more than the right breast, but that is normal.  Everything is swollen, and tight, and my surgeon said it will take 6-9 months for everything along the scar to actually settle and smooth out.  The swelling will take a long time to go away as well.  Basically, this means ay swimsuits I wear this coming summer will be tankini’s… no bikini tops. LOL!!  

So…. 3 weeks no driving, maybe longer.  A good 6 months of lifting no more than a ½ gallon of milk, then after that just 1 gallon.  And basically being very careful in general so that way nothing messes this up.  I need this to work.  NO MORE SURGERIES!!  I am so done being a pin cushion.  :)  I will update again after my post op appt next Wednesday.   Hopefully I get told everything is looking great.   P.S. The picture below is me yesterday, and you can see how crazy big this bra I have to wear is... lol.

Tomorrow is the Day!!!

Tomorrow is the day.  Surgery.  I am feeling such a strange mix of emotions.  I feel excited, and happy, and anxious… but at the same time I am very nervous and worried…. Almost scared.  The positive feelings are of course because I am so happy to be getting this taken care of.  I can not tell you what it feels like to look in mirror and see this breast look so different from the other, and not just different, but look “wrong”.  It makes me very self conscience…. Especially around James.  Which I of course know I don’t need to be, but I think it’s just a natural thing us women do… we can’t help but feel like we want to be everything we can for our men… and that means looking as good as we can look.  It’s never realistic to want that of course, but we do it all the same. Lol  Crazy isn’t it though?  Doing something in our minds that only causes us more stress and frustration.  Lol   Girls are crazy.

On the negative side of my feelings… I am really nervous and scared because I have no guarantees that this will work.  The surgeon can not promise me that this will fix my problem… although he does feel confident.  And second, he has told me that this procedure will be very painful, in fact he made it a point to emphasize it.  He said this is because anytime a surgery involves your bones, the pain is just different.  That makes me nervous.  Yep...attaching part of my breast to my top rib bone is gonna hurt.  But will it hurt worse than the other big surgeries I have had?  I have no idea.  It’s so hard to know and I am worried that this will be way harder to take.  

I am thankful however that James will be home with me for the first 5 days, and then after that the kids are on Spring Break.  Having that help at home will be so important.    There are going to be so many basic things that I will not be able to do.  Just lifting my arm to put a shirt on will be tough, can you imagine trying to open a jar of food?  Or even chopping up veggies for a big dinner?  Let alone trying to do laundry.  Ugh.  Yep… I am thankful for help.  Then there will be the whole 3-4 weeks of no driving… and a very long time of not lifting more than 5 pounds.  Which quite frankly there were times after my other surgeries that even 5 pounds seemed like too much.  Lol

So…. here goes the countdown…. Tonight I can’t eat food after midnight.  And then after 9:15am tomorrow morning no more water.  Gotta be at the hospital at 11:15am… surgery is at 12:15pm.   Should last 2 hours, and then another 2 hours of being in recovery.  Hoping to be home around 6pm “ish”.  Please pray that everything goes smoothly…. And that things actually do get fixed.