Eating Right!

So it has officially been half a year since my surgery and I couldn’t be more pleased with my results. I am almost at 80 pounds lost and it feels so amazing. I feel like I have to keep looking at old pictures of myself to remember that this is not a dream. :) I think the most challenging thing about having Gastric Bypass surgery is really the discipline you have to have in regards to eating. I was really worried, I am really worried, that I would not be able to handle the strict way of eating that I would have to do, but I kept telling myself that the longer I did it the easier it would get and that has proven to be true. I am of course taking vitamins everyday for the rest of my life now, that includes: multi vitamins, vitamin D, B-12, and I also take chewable fiber now...it is really needed. lol

Making meals and having drinks and snacks has been interesting. There are some things that I can still eat like normal, and others I can not. This is all due to the new rules I have to follow to ensure my body is getting what it needs, and NOT getting too much of what it doesn’t need. Sugars are the big one. My new stomach doesn’t have all the acids and such in it that my original one had, these acids are what break up a lot of our food, especially sugar. My food goes through my new stomach first and doesn’t reach my old one where the acids are until later, so I can not have lots of sugar, if I did there is the chance I could get very sick. This is of course the whole point of the surgery...to help me HAVE to limit the things which are bad for me and cause weight gain. I am only allowed to have 2 grams of added sugar in whatever it is I am eating. That is it. Natural sugar is fine...but added sugar not so much.

Because of this I have had to change the kind of spaghetti sauce I use, I used to only buy Prego, but that had too much sugar for a serving size. I ended up finding a great one in the organic section though and it works great with spaghetti and lasagna. I have also had to change oatmeals, desserts I make (all sugar free ones now), and I can no longer eat cereal because they pretty much all have too much sugar unless you count ones like plain cherrios or rice krispies, but I can eat so little food in one sitting now (since my stomach is so small) that it hardly seems worth it to have cereal at all. Plus, they have hardly no protein in them...and I really need the protein.

I have to get 70 grams of protein in a day. That sounds like a lot but it’s very doable. Well, at first it was hard, I won’t lie, but as I began to research what things had the most protein it certainly got easier. Milk is key. Since it is preferred that I only eat 11 grams of fat per meal (6 small meals a day) I changed from drinking 2% milk, to ½ % milk. I drink 16 ounces or more of that a day to help with the protein. I also buy some protein bars that have 20 grams of protein in them, and only 2 grams of sugar. At first, I didn’t like them very much, but I kept forcing myself to eat them and now I like them fine. If I am having a really busy day and can only eat things that don’t have a lot of protein, I will make a smoothie for myself at some point. I use frozen strawberries and orange juice and add a scoop or more or protein powder. It tastes good and if I do a scoop and a half I can get 45 grams of protein in one shot. Things like that along with cottage cheese, meats, seafood (shrimp, salmon, etc...) and other foods make it not so hard.

Of course there is the drinks to contend with. I am pretty much on a strict water, milk, or crystal lite drinking diet. Well...not strict I guess, I do drink orange juice too, and apple juice. For the first six months you can have ZERO carbonation...and once that time is up you can only have diet soda of course, because of the sugar. I guess I could start having diet soda now since I am at the 6-month mark, but for some reason I don’t really want to yet. I have a feeling my new stomach won’t like it. I already know my stomach doesn’t like noodles very much. It’s not that I get sick or anything when I eat them, but I just get this uncomfortable feeling when I eat them...like they just aren’t settling right. I don’t know, but it makes me not want to eat them.

So anyway, that is how the food intake is coming along. I will try to write about exercise soon...that is a big topic as well. lol

Exercise!

Well...I sucked it up and asked James if he wanted to walk/jog with me. He said yes (only to be supportive, he hates running too. lol ) and so I changed my clothes and off we went. I would say all together I ran half a block (not all at once) and walked the rest. I was VERY tired but proud of myself. I will try to do this more often in an effort to hopefully make it a habit and thus ensuring that after I stop losing weight, I can then keep the weight off. :)

Six Month Check Up

Just got back from my 6 month check up for my Gastric Bypass surgery. Everything is going GREAT! My surgeon said that most people lose 60% of their excess body fat in a year, and at the half year mark I am already 5 pounds away from that mark. He said this means that I will most likely be in the smaller group of people who lose 80% of their excess body fat which means I will likely end up weighing between 140-150 pounds by the year mark. I am SO very excited. My weight loss is slowing down now since I am half way there, which is normal, he also said my hair loss will slow down soon too, THANK GOD! lol The most important thing he told me is to remember that right now my body is working for me...losing weight on its own and I don't really have to do much to make it happen...but once the year mark hits and the weight loss stops then it will switch to me having to work for my body. I will need to make sure I don't get complacent and lazy and start eating more fats than I should, or eating the wrong foods, because that is how people gain the weight back. And of course, I need to be active!!! There is NO WAY IN HELL I am screwing this up...so I am not worried. :)

Hair Loss!

Holy crap...all this hair loss is freaking me out!!! I am losing so much it is freaky and I am trying to remind myself that this is all normal after my surgery but it is really hard to do. My hair feels so much thinner now and I see my hair EVERYWHERE!!! It's all over me, my bed, in the shower. ugh. It's disheartening really. Trying to stay positive though...I know it's not forever, and it will come back!

Milestones!

Good evening world. I can not believe that I am one more pound away from having lost sixty pounds. What a crazy feeling it is to be shrinking like this. Especially since it isn't just my stomach, but my entire frame that seems to be smaller. I have even noticed it in my legs. lol. I am so excited to buy a swimsuit this summer. I am sure I will still want one that has a little skirt or something but wow it will be nice to feel more confident about just being in one.

Funny how different my cravings and taste buds have been since the surgery. Now I don't crave the sweets near as much and some foods that I can eat still just are not as appealing anymore. One example is noodles. I used to LOVE noodles, but now I am just not too in to them. When I eat them they no longer seem to settle very well in my new stomach and makes me feel icky. But I feel fortunate though that so far that is the only negative I have. I know other people who can not eat hardly any dairy anymore, and some people who have a hard time with spices and such. I am doing great on all of those so far.

Another thing I find interesting and kind of funny is that now when I watch the kids or James eating a bunch of food, or sometimes even just two slices of pizza, I notice that I am cringing at how much food they are eating. It almost grosses me out. I always feel like they are eating way too much even though really it isn't that much....it is just way more then I can eat now and so the thought of stuffing that much food inside me just makes me grimace. All part of the changes I am going through I guess.

The not so fun part of the changes is that I have been losing more hair then usual. I knew that this could happen even with me getting all my protein in, but it is still kind of freaky when I see all the hair coming out in the shower. I know its normal though and I am just trying to remember that it will not last forever and I will not lose all my hair. Think positive right? lol. So that is all for now. I will update again soon. :)

Update #2

It has been almost 7 weeks since my surgery. I started at 268 pounds, and I am now at 236. I am so very happy with how I am progressing. It’s easy to wish that the weight would come off even faster, but really the rate I am going seems great. It’s not too fast and I can tell that I am still losing it all over, instead of just all from my stomach area. I think that will help my body bounce back a little better. So many things are already changing, I feel like everyday I get a new surprise. Recently I discovered that I can finally cross my legs like a lady should...that was a HUGE deal for me. I am discovering that the towel is wrapping around more of me when I get out of the shower...I can’t wait for the day when it goes ALL the way around me. Even sleeping in bed has gotten easier! I haven’t woken up with my back hurting in over a week.

The only thing I am really struggling with doing is exercising. It is hard to make yourself do it when you are losing so much weight with out it! I know I need to do it though, I know it will not only help me lose weight faster but will also help my body tighten up. Seriously though it is hard. It’s not that I don’t have the time either, it’s that I am always making an excuse about why I need to do something else instead of exercise. I will even say to myself, “I really need to dust those pictures first!” lol Lame right? But this is what I do. I HAVE to make exercising a habit. I HAVE TO! I need to just pick a time of the day when I do it no matter what else is going on, no matter how many other household chores I think need to be done.

James has noticed a difference in my body also. He said he can tell that I feel different when he hugs me, or just hands his arms around me in general. Other noticeable things have been wearing a new pants size, my bra is getting looser, and my double chin is getting much smaller! I can not wait for a few more months to go by, or even a year! I am so excited to know what the final “product” will look like. lol

In other news I am doing great working at Brick Elementary where the kids go to school. I have been there for a few months now and I like the ladies I work with and of course the hours I work are awesome. The only downside right now is being outside when it is so damn cold. But hopefully Spring will come quickly and save me from that torture.

I can’t believe Christmas is coming up so fast. We have all the presents purchased and wrapped for the kids and other ones to family in CA have already been shipped off. James and I agreed to not buy anything for each other so I didn’t have to worry about that at all. If I get paid from work before Christmas I may even buy a few more items for everyone. The kids could use some more clothes.

Anyway, that is all for now I think. Nite Everyone!

Update

Seems fitting to write a blog on this day considering the date (11.11.11). Just kinda makes it fun somehow. lol I am doing really well with my surgery recovery. I am still experiencing some pain in my bladder region which I can only assume is an inflammation due to having a catheter in me during and after surgery for so long. It certainly is not an infection since I went to the doctor and had that confirmed already. I have my two week check up on Tuesday and I am going to wait until then to bring it up. So far the pain is not near as bad as it was about a week ago, hopefully it will just go away on it’s own.

As for weight loss I have lost 12 pounds so far. It’s very exciting even though quite frankly I have not noticed it yet. I guess I am losing it from somewhere that is not as obvious. lol In my Bible study one of the things that we started talking about was fear...and I realized that one thing that I have been fearing lately is not losing weight with this surgery. I know that is a dumb thing to worry about it, after all, I have already lost 12 pounds so it would be silly to think that I won’t continue to lose weight, but still I have this irrational fear inside me that says, “What if this surgery doesn’t work? What if I only lose a little weight even though I am doing everything right?” Really I do realize that it is silly, but I can’t help it I guess...that is why they are called irrational fears after all. :)

James has been working so hard lately. Last night he didn’t get home until 1am. I’m so thankful for his job, but I feel bad for him when he has big projects like this. They just make him feel mentally worn out and tired. On the plus side he is awesome, and a trooper, he never really complains. I have been going to work quite a bit too now. 4 days this week already, and I will be doing 3 days this next week. It’s nice to get out and do something, but damn if it isn’t super cold. Standing outside watching kids at recess is an easy job, but I think my fingers were about ready to fall off today. I could barely unzip my jacket when I was ready to go home. Maybe I should start wearing two gloves on each hand. lol

Lastly, parent/teacher conferences are quickly approaching. I am not looking forward to this. I dread them every year. I always feel pressured, pressured to defend my child at the mere mention of a problem, pressured to explain a way a behavior. Worried that they will say something awful that I simply do not want to hear. Ugh....again, it’s all irrational fears and usually the meetings go just fine, but I still can’t help but feel worried nonetheless. So annoying and totally my own doing. I am a dork. But at least James will be there with me and that is always comforting, I will just let him do all the talking. lol

Anyway, that’s all for now I guess. Nite all. :)

Gastric Bypass Surgery

Well, Monday (October 31st, 2011) was my surgery and I thought I would do a more detailed description on here of what happened and how I am feeling. After all, you can only say so much in a Facebook status update. lol I was feeling good Monday morning and felt really comfortable with the nurses who were getting me ready for surgery. I was informed that one of the drugs that they were going to give me before knocking me out causes amnesia. That was kinda interesting. They said I wouldn’t remember much from the time they administered it. I DO remember some stuff though. I have a vague memory of being rolled into the operation room and talking to the nurses, I KNOW I remember it, it’s just not a huge memory. But it is there.

After that the next thing I clearly remember is waking up and feeling lots of pain. I thought, mistakenly, that the pain would be similar to my c-sections, I was very wrong. This could be due to the fact that they also removed a hernia from me but who knows. All I know is it hurt like hell. I also remember being very very tired. Falling in and out of sleep frequently, especially while I was talking. I was so so tired. That is the main memory.

I started on liquids right away and also had a saline drip too. I have never had to pee so much in my life. I think I was going every hour or more. I also had a morphine drip which was very nice for the pain. They had me start walking soon after surgery and let me tell you that was hard. The first time I could only walk about 10 feet. The second time I made it down the hall, but quickly got nauseous and they had to get a chair to wheel me back to my room. It was just too much I guess too soon.

I started making progress though and soon I was walking all over the place. It got easier to get up and down and eventually the most annoying thing was having to go to the bathroom so damn often. Next though something else new and annoying happened. Evidently when they perform the surgery they pump your stomach full of air so they can see inside of you better, well of course all that air doesn’t all get out, and so of course it causes massive gas inside of me later! So here I am with lots of burping and other things. Trying to get all of that out so it doesn’t hurt my stomach too much.

I am also not a huge fan of hiccups. I guess that is another thing that happens and they are not fun. I am getting them every time I stand up pretty much and at this point I will be happy if I never have hiccups again. They are painful and annoying. So anyway, between walking more and drinking more it was finally time to go on Wednesday. I had my first shower. Evidently I can’t let the water hit my stomach directly, but I can let it hit somewhere else and then run down my stomach. So I had a shower and got dressed in something light and James came to get me. It was really exciting to go home. I was and am slow moving but managed to get into the mini van ok and James drove me home.

So far things have been good at home. I get tired from walking around (which I am supposed to be doing) but I imagine that is normal. I am trying to not over due it. I am sleeping ok though and getting up and down the stairs well too. I am drinking all my liquids like I should be, taking my pain pills still, which really help, and James is being amazing! On top of doing his own work all day, he is taking care of the kids, taking care of me, and doing all the house work too. Poor guy was so tired last night that he started falling asleep on the bed last night while we were watching T.V. and it was only 10pm. I am so thankful for all that he is doing. He is really working hard to take care of everything that needs to be done. He has been making me some yummy smoothie drinks with lots of protein in them and he bought a good blender to make it easier to create stuff.

So, that is about it for now. I suppose that as I heal up I will write another one and keep you all updated. Hopefully the weight will start coming off soon too and I will be able to begin exercising and getting healthy in more ways then one. This is such an exciting time....There is so much to learn about and do...but I am ready for it.

Therapy 101

So Tuesday is my first day with a therapist. I have to have a psychological evaluation so I can qualify for the Bariatric Surgery. I think I am more nervous about that then I am the actual surgery! I have never been to one before and although I am don’t know why I am nervous I just am. Worried about what the therapist will think of me I guess. Worried that I won’t say the right thing. UGH! I’m being so dumb huh? But I am really excited about getting this done and over with so I can proceed with getting the surgery done. From what I can gather from the ladies at the clinic I have talked to, I may be getting this done way sooner then I thought. I knew it would be in October, but I the impression I got from the lady was that it could be in less then 2 weeks!

I can not tell you how excited I am ….really. I have been thinking about what life will be like for me in a years time....hell...even six months from now...and the ideas going through my head just seem so foreign. I have looked at a bunch of the before and after pictures that they have at the clinic and quite frankly it almost seems too good to be true! My insurance will cover 100% of the tummy tuck and breast lift too if I keep the weight off for a year after I reach my goal weight! So exciting.

I try to picture what it would be like to actually wear a pair of shorts comfortably, to wear a swimsuit and not feel like I have to cover myself up as much as possible. To run, actually run, with the kids. Jump on the trampoline...sit comfortably in an airplane, shop with my friends in the same area of the store, potentially weigh less then James, not be freaked out when James tries to pick me up or....well.....it would be nice to look in the mirror and not feel disgusted. I could go on and on....I won’t bore you with all my complaining but when I try to imagine not feeling this way it seems like an impossibility!

I guess what it comes down to is that I have been a “big” girl almost all my life, and I wonder how it will feel, emotionally, AND physically, when I no longer am? Will I think of myself as a big girl years from now even though I won’t be? So many what if’s. I can’t wait to find out the answers!!! I can’t wait to start this new adventure....this is going to change so much of my life...this is going to be wonderful!!

First Appointment at the Barix Clinic

So I have my first appointment this Tuesday for the Barix Clinic to discuss weight loss surgery. This is the first step in a new journey. I am excited and a little nervous...but more excited then nervous. lol James is going with me which I am very happy about. I feel good about deciding to take this route. I have been trying to lose weight and maintain it for 10 years now with no success, and I think I am ready to accept the fact that I need help helping myself. My weight is out of control (264lbs) and is starting to effect my health. This will only get worse as I get older and, most likely, I will gain even more weight as I get older.

So I have made the choice and I am sticking to it. Prayer and encouragement are of course much appreciated. Negative comments, not so much. lol Not that I expect anyone to do that. But I figure I will just throw that out there just in case. lol

When I try to think about what it would be like in a year, well...it’s hard to imagine. Being able to shop in the regular clothing section of a store...being able to not feel scared to jump on the trampoline...going for a jog without getting out of breath right a way! So many things that would be so different and yet so wonderful. Of course, I am getting a head of myself...but it’s just an exciting thought.

Most importantly I am excited about the health issues that will improve. My Sleep Apnea will most likely go away. I am borderline diabetic, and that will no longer be a concern most likely. How amazing! Things like this make the sacrifice of not drinking lots of milk anymore totally worth it. OH! And my back pain...I know that would improve as well. Mine is definitely related to that in some aspects.

Now it’s just the waiting game. Going through the appointment process. I know I will have to see a therapist to make sure I am doing this for the right reasons. I will also be required to take a nutrition class (which is a great thing anyway) and after all that I guess I schedule the surgery. I have no idea if it will be before or after the holidays. Of course part of me hopes it’s after the holidays, but really maybe before would be best. lol

The Beginning

I have a doctor appointment on September 7th to talk to my doctor about my health/weight and what I can do to start losing weight and maintaining it. I have no idea what she will say, or what she will recommend, but I have decided that whatever she suggests I am going to do...I can not keep relying on myself....I obviously need help. I have tried and tried and tried, and even when I do have success for a while I inevitably fail.

I will be honest and say that I need to lose about 90 pounds. It’s a lot, and my health is really what is important here. On my Dad’s side of the family I have aunts and uncles and cousins who already have Diabetes and I know that I have a big chance of it happening to me as well. I can’t walk up a small hill without feeling like I am going to die, my feet and legs hurt way sooner then they ever used to from walking for a long time. I have Sleep Apnea now which can (and probably is) due to being overweight. And quite frankly, I would like to be able to jump on the trampoline without being afraid of it breaking.

I don’t know what she will suggest, like I said...but I know it’s possible that she may talk to me about having surgery. I feel like I am ready for that possibility, I know that there are lots of pros and cons, but I guess at this point my health is the most important thing...so I am willing to take some risks.

I wish that I could do this on my own....well, not that I can’t, but I wish I could do it on my own AND be successful at it. I wish I could lose weight and keep it off. I wish I could have the determination, and the...well....I wish I was one of those people who could just make weight loss happen. Anyway..so that is what is happening, or at least will be happening on the 7th. Hopefully my doctor will have some good ideas about what I can do to help get my health under control, whatever those options might be.