Chewable Fiber....A Thing of the Past

1.29.14

So far I have not taken any chewable fiber for almost 3 weeks.   I decided to stop buying them once I ran out to see how I did.  I knew I was taking way more than was necessary simply because they were like having candy.  I mean who doesn’t like gummy bears right?  lol  So I stopped hoping that I would be able to have a bowel movement without much difficulty.  So far….so good.  I am not saying it is super easy going, but it isn’t too bad either.  The iron vitamins I take can make a person more constipated so my doctor told me to only take those every other day.   I have also been trying to eat things that have more fiber in them.   Particularly raisins.   Those are high in iron and help you go to the bathroom….so I have been adding them in my oatmeal and in with my cottage cheese.  I am also trying to eat other high fiber items just incase.  
What a process this is!  If any one thinks that having weight loss surgery is just an easy fix let me tell you they are very wrong.  It is a daily effort to maintain your health and monitor yourself physically and mentally.  I would say I still struggle with the mental food issues the most.  I have been trying super hard to not eat more than I need to in regards to fat grams and just pointless snacking but when it’s winter time and you are stuck in the house for so long it is hard to just not want to walk over to the fridge constantly and grab a snack just because you can.   When I do….I just make myself grab peaches, or a banana...but man is it rough to make myself do that too!  

James has been a great help though.   If I feel like I am struggling in the evening and really want to snack just because, not due to real hunger, I tell him to not let me eat, and simply telling him that really helps.  I know he is watching me when I get up and he makes sure I am just getting a drink.  Knowing he is keeping an eye on me is so helpful.  Especially since he will tell me to put snacks down.  lol  

I tried on my swimsuits from last summer yesterday to make sure they still look good.  Wanted to kinda check since I have had my breasts fixed twice since then.   They look better then before actually which made me really happy.  James especially liked them. lol   Of course.  lol  I am however missing one of my favorite swimsuit tops and have no idea where it could be….that is really bugging me and I am determined to find it.  Although I have no idea where to even start looking!  ugh.

Still maintaining my weight….150 pounds.   I am very proud of myself and am positive that I can continue to do well.  When I think back to how scared I was that I would not be able to handle this lifestyle it seems silly….routine sets in and you get the hang of it….why do I always doubt myself?  Need to get better about that as well I suppose.  lol  

In a little over a month my reconstructive surgery will be paid off in full!!!  This is exciting since February 21st also marks one year since it was done.  We thought for sure it would be a 3 year ordeal of paying it but James was blessed with his wonderful new job that he got about 7-8 months ago which provides an amazing bonus once a year.  When he gets that at the end of February a huge chunk will go to paying that off and we couldn’t be happier.   What a relief that will be for us all.  Even better is I will be able to put in my two weeks notice at Kroger and finally go back to being a stay at home Mom...which is what I love doing the most and miss.  It has been great working and meeting so many wonderful people...some of which I know will be lifelong friends….but it will be so wonderful to be done as well and have the stress and worries of working a job behind me.   

So that is what is going on right now….hope you all are well and thanks for reading!  

Darn Fat Brain!!!

1.23.14 Well….things are looking good.  I am still maintaining a steady weight of 150 pounds.   Which I know is what the doctors want and say is a good weight but man oh man is it hard to not want to be lower since I have seen a lower number before.  I would just like to see it say at least 145 again...but I am trying to be content and happy with 150.  It’s really a lot harder than you would think.  My fat girl brain is still there and is constantly trying to tell me that I need to get back down to that weight.  Fixing my brain is proving to be very difficult.  

My breasts are still healing well...I have been experiencing some sharp random pains that last 10-20 seconds just for the last couple days in my right breast right behind the nipple area, but I am assuming that is normal and all part of healing up.  If it continues on though I will mention it when I have my appt on the 8th of February.  I can lay on my side though again since this procedure and that is a welcomed thing since I really don’t like laying on my back.   I am however beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to sleep on my stomach again.  I miss it so so much and every time I even attempt it, it is very uncomfortable.  I know it will only be a year since this was all done next month and so I shouldn't rush it but damn I really do miss it...and it’s the way I sleep the best!

I had to call the hospital a couple days ago and left a message for Dr. Taylor's office (he is the doc I see now since Dr. Schram is no longer at that hospital) and said that I needed a doctors note stating that I have to have a bottle of water with me at all times while at work.  Adam, my boss, is trying to do everything by the book now and so since we are not technically supposed to have one with us I need a note.  I received a call back from his secretary Shari who said she would be emailing me the signed note and then I could print it myself.  I am hoping to get it soon.  I should have gotten it yesterday actually, that was when she said she would send it, I am hoping I get it today or tomorrow since I work Saturday.     

Anyway...that is the latest.   More to come soon as always.  :)

Back to work!

Going back to work today was good.  Although I can tell that when my surgery is paid off and it is time to quit my job,  I will be ready.  I really enjoyed being home for the entire month and it reminded me of how much I love being a stay at home mom and what a great blessing it has been for me to be able to do that the last 12 years.  I worked almost eight hours today and I can really feel it.  I am tired, and although my chest isn’t sore from the work my foot is since a two liter of soda fell on it.  Let me tell you that hurt like hell.  But at least having all that time off to heal really helped and I had no problem moving groceries that were heavy around for customers or anything like that.  It was all good.   For my first day shift I would call this a success.  The time flew by and I enjoyed being at the register the whole time.  

It’s an entirely different crowd of people who shop during the day then at night.  Lots more senior citizens and lots more Moms.  I saw two people I know even (although that is really nothing new).   I was at a register the entire time I was there.  It was so busy!  I am sure that could have been because of the holiday coming up but still….I couldn’t believe how constant the flow of people was.  Especially once 10am hit.  Tomorrow I just have a small shift, 12-4pm.  Not too bad at all.  Then I don’t work again until Saturday (unless they try to call me in that is).  

So anyway….so that is my day and I just thought I would share.  Time to relax!

Done No Matter What

Had my first check up since this last procedure.  Dr. Dinick seems to be really pleased with how everything looks and expects things to look even better as the swelling goes down and things “settle”. No matter what though, I am done with having surgery.  However these things end up looking is just how they will have to look because I am just done.  4 surgeries in 2 years is more than enough for me. But I think that over all I am quite pleased.  My nipples right now are all facing the correct way which is good.  They are not quite lined up exactly right but I think that is because of the swelling and what not, and expect that will improve with a couple more months.

Still not going to the gym of course, healing up and trying to not strain anything.  My neighbor and I fully plan on working out once again once I am up to it (which should be really soon).  We are going to be bringing some exercise equipment into our basement and attempting to do our workouts here to save money on the gym.  If we can do a good job at keeping it up at home we will continue with it and if not we will try another gym that is cheaper.  I refuse to keep paying $30 a month for an average gym.  

So far....so good...

Still doing really well after my latest procedure.  So far I have only had one day where I over did it and really regretted it.  I was dumb and just was out and about way too much and did too much cleaning and was SUPER sore later.   So much so that I did actually take some mild pain meds for the first time.  But after that I have been really relaxed, healing up well and wearing my bra every day all day (4 weeks for that too) like I am supposed to.  Things are still looking good, I think that once the swelling goes down they will look even better.  

I have a follow up appointment on the 14th and I am hoping to be able to go back to work on December 30th.  I am starting to miss working at Kroger a little bit but I am also really enjoying being home again so much.  So I will just take advantage and relax while I can.  :)

Newest Surgery

Had my surgery yesterday.  (Happy Thanksgiving btw!)  I don’t know why but I was actually borderline scared while waiting to be rolled into surgery.  For the last 3 I had no problem...I was excited and anxious in a good way.  But this time I was nervous and couldn’t really figure out the why of it.  I had my Dad and Mom pray with me to help me feel better which of course it did some.   When Dr.Dinick finally came to see if I was ready I felt even better.  He is always so sure of himself and that makes me feel more secure about the whole process.  

I really don’t remember anything after they started rolling me into the surgery room.  Actually, I don’t even remember the surgery room.  I must have passed out from the sleepy stuff really fast because next thing I knew I was awake and in pain.  Only half of my right breast was cut open this time.   It looks like he fixed all the problems but of course everything is pinched together and tight so it still doesn’t look the same as the left one yet.  Once it heals and relaxes some it will though and I feel confident that this should be it.  (Or at least I pray that this is it!)

I can move around ok for awhile and then I get really sore.  I am not taking any pain meds because I really don’t like how zonked out the heavy drugs make me feel...so I am just toughing it out...which isn’t that bad at all.  It hurts, but I have certainly had worse.  

I have 10 more days of no work still which makes me really happy.  I think that should be plenty of time to heal up.  I won’t be able to lift more than 10 pounds for about 4 weeks so I have a doctors note that I will take back to work with me to give to my boss.  Make sure everything is in order of course so they can’t say no to anything.  Here is hoping that I heal up quickly though...and that I am back to normal working order.  :)

FINALLY!!!

Finally received a phone call from my surgeons office.  They were able to squeeze me in for surgery!!  YAY!!  I am so excited.  Unfortunately they could only squeeze me in the day before Thanksgiving.  :(  But of a bummer I know, will make cooking the next day very hard.  BUT, on the plus side my mother in-law will be here visiting and she can help a lot with the cooking and James will be here to help take care of me.  So it won’t be all bad.  And really this is supposed to be a small 2 hour procedure, I really shouldn't be that bad off.  Unless of course right in the middle if surgery my doc decides that he thinks more needs to be done, in which case I could be worse off.  I only say this because that is what happened last time and I was more sore than expected.  

I am very anxious to have this procedure done….the awkwardness and sometimes soreness that my right breast has been experiencing is getting progressively worse.  I can’t lay on my left side because when I do that implant moves to a very uncomfortable position and actually hurts.  When I raise my arms up that breast just looks visibly wrong, the whole breast is a different shape than the other one because of how that implant is sitting and to top it all off, and really what is the most visually annoying thing, all of this makes my nipple face the wrong way.  It goes to the side, and not forward like the other one.  SO...as you can imagine this will be a very welcomed fix.  lol

I will write another update as soon as I have the surgery and let you all know how it goes.  Wish I was able to post a pic but of course that would be a little x-rated and not appropriate.  ;)