The Dreaded GYM!

Going to the gym is quite the experience.  Years ago, maybe 4 years ago, I had joined the same gym I went to today and gave it my best shot at attending regularly.  The problem was this...you go to the gym to lose weight and get healthy....but when you go there, heavy and unhealthy...certainly not feeling good about how you look and feel, being in the gym is just depressing.  At that time I felt like everyone was watching me, looking and judging me, asking themselves how I had let myself get that big....and although rationally I know that they probably were not doing that, I couldn’t help but think it anyway...eventually I started talking myself out of going and that was the end of my time at the gym.  

But here I am...I have lost over 100 pounds, and I am for sure feeling better about how I look...about how I feel about my appearance, just my overall confidence is so much higher than I can ever remember it being.  My good friend Deanna told me about a deal that Groupon was having at the same gym, a two-month membership for only $19.99.  I kept the link in my email for a couple days while I thought about it.  I couldn’t make up my mind.  But then Groupon sent me an email that they were going to give me an additional $10.00 off my first purchase with them and I couldn’t help but think that I would be an idiot to pass up such a great deal.  Who doesn’t go for a two-month membership for only $9.00??  So, I did it!  I signed up and so far I have gone to the gym twice already this week.  I plan on going again tomorrow and also on Friday.  That will be four days this week.

So far I have done the treadmill twice.  Today I ran/walked for two miles, and I felt like I was able to run more today than the first time I did it.  But really what I love best right now about the gym is how I am feeling while in there.  I walk in wearing actual workout clothes, snug fitting ones too...and I feel like I belong there.  I feel like NO ONE is looking at me, NO ONE is judging me, I feel like I am there, and I am just another random person at the gym that no one cares about, which is exactly how I want it.  lol  I know that I shouldn’t care what others think about me and how I look while exercising, but I do, I just can’t help it.  I am always in my head too much, I can’t stop it!  So for once I am happy to be there and be feel like I belong...hopefully I will continue to go and continue to get better stamina.  Also...I hope that I can get my brain to change how much I worry about what others think of me...I know that will take a lot of work...but I think it would be good for me.