Almost Time!!

I now weigh 150 pounds!  Crazy isn’t it?  I really never dreamed that this could be happening to me.  My surgery is coming up in less than a month and I am so anxious to get this loose skin off of me.  I want to have nice breasts again that actually look right and be able to have my pants fit like they should without this skin getting in the way.  It will be so worth all the pain I am going to be in.  And I know I will be in some major pain.  

I am loving working at Kroger still.  That job is seriously great for my ego.  I am always getting compliments on how young I look or that I can’t possibly be 32 years old.  It is great and I love it, but I can tell that if I am not careful it would be easy to let it go to my head.  I am trying to keep myself in check, I need to stay humble and grounded, and let God have his way with me, instead of me getting in the way of myself.  Does that make sense?  It did in my head. lol

2 Months @Kroger

I have been working at Kroger doing the 8pm to 2am shift for about 2 months now.  I really like it a lot and the people I work with are pretty awesome too.  I think the best part is all the people of the neighborhood that I get to meet and talk to.  The strangest part for me though is getting attention from men while there.  I am so used to being the big girl, and to only getting sexual attention from my husband that when other men do it I am quite thrown and don’t know how to react or what to do really.

I have had one man tell me that I am, and I quote, “Hot as hell!”, and another want to call me.  I have had one co-worker kind of get a little creepy on me and I had to set him straight and I have had one guy seem to go out of his way to hang around and talk to me.  It is all very odd and made me realize more and more how badly I needed to get my ring re-sized.  I have not been able to wear it for almost 2 years.  First because my finger was too fat for it, and then because my finger was too small.  lol  

I have now lost 120 pounds, and I think that my fingers are pretty well settled with their new ring sizes, so I took them in to get taken care of.  I had four different rings all together and so I took those in and they are all finished and beautiful now!  I am so happy I get to wear them again.  It feels great to look like a married woman once more.  Hard to believe that I now wear a size 6 on my ring finger!!  I can’t remember what size I was before ( I should have found out while at the jewelers) but I know it went down at least 2 sizes.  

Time sure is ticking by though my surgery will be coming up before I know it.  Only 38 more days and then I will be in the worse pain I can imagine, but all for a very good reason.  I can’t wait for the finished product.  A year from now I will look and feel so different...I can’t wait.  :)

Surgery Fast Approaching

Talked to my surgeon's office today and asked a few questions.  Found out that James will need to be home to take care of my for at least one week, and then for about 3 more weeks after that he will need to do all the vacuuming, grocery shopping, and laundry.  Basically, anything that requires me lifting more than 10 pounds since I will not be able to lift more than that for 12 weeks.  I should be able to go back to work after 4 weeks and will just have to maintain that same weight restriction while I am there too.  They said that shouldn’t be a problem though which makes me really happy.  

I have an appointment on February 2nd with my surgeon and at that visit he will be showing me the implants and we will discuss what they will look like and how they will sit and feel.  I will ask all my questions too of course.  I am so excited to get this all done!  I wish that I could do it right now in some ways.  I feel slightly nervous about all the pain that I know I will be in but really that doesn’t compare with how excited I am to see the finished product when I am all healed up.

I will be paying for my surgery before I have it at this appointment as well.  I also have to pay for the two garments I will be wearing for who the hell knows how long.  One will be for my breasts and the other for my stomach.  I have a feeling that my stomach will be the thing that is the most painful.  Being sliced open from one end to the other in one direction, and then the same thing in the other, is going to be nothing short of agonizing.  But like I said, I will just focus on the final product.  That is what will get me through.  

I have one other last appointment before the big surgery day on February 21st, and that is my Pre-Admission Testing appt on February 6th.  That will be a 3-hour ordeal where they do a ton of stuff to me so they can be sure that I am medically fit to have surgery and survive it.  I expect no issues with that test and in fact I am sure I will pass it with flying colors.  This month cannot go by fast enough in my mind.  I am very anxious....in a good way!

Helping with Debt

My next surgery is fast approaching.  So far I have lost 117 pounds with my current weight being 156 pounds.  I still feel very excited and happy about all the changes my body has made and about the tummy tuck and breast lift/augmentation I will be getting.  Since the health insurance we have will in fact NOT cover the breast procedures I am having done I decided it was best to help out with new debt I will be putting my husband and I in.  I decided to get a part time job working nights (since I am always up late anyway) and put all of the money I make towards paying off the surgery.  If I can even do $500 a month, and if we put all our tax refund on paying it off too (and any extra side jobs my husband gets) we figure we could have it paid off in a year and a half.  Maybe a little longer.  I really felt strongly that it would be good for me to do this and thank the Lord I got hired at the first place I applied at!

I am now a cashier at Kroger.  It is the grocery store closest to our home, and I practically live there so it seemed like the best option in regard to where I would like to work.  I have a friend who works there as a supervisor, and she helped get my application seen quickly.  I had a great interview, and it wasn’t too long after that, that I received a call to see if I wanted the job.  It has been two weeks now and I am doing really well.  I told them I could only work from 8pm - 2am...and that is exactly the shift that they gave me.  I am really happy with it. Even better is that they didn’t mind that I would be having surgery soon and would need a month off.  Great news.

So now it is just a waiting game.  Waiting for February 21st to arrive so I can have this extra skin removed and my new and perkier breasts put in.  I am nervous of course about how much pain I will be in, but I am so excited too for the end results from it all.  I know it will look wonderful!

New Surgery Date

So, I had to reschedule my surgery because I have officially scheduled my breast lift along with my tummy tuck.  I am so glad to have it set up!  The new date is February 21st.  We are still getting the finances in order, but I know it won’t be long until that is taken care of and we have until February anyway.  We may do a credit card option, or a personal loan...not sure which yet.  Hell...maybe I will get lucky, and someone will randomly pay for it for me!  LOL  Wouldn’t that be a miracle?  I have a Pre-Op appt set up for some time in January and on that day, they will let me pick out what breast size I want to be and I will get to see and feel the implants.  James is going to come with me so he can be equally informed.  I am 90% sure I am going to settle on being a D cup.  That is the size I was before I had kids and before I put on a lot of weight.  I think it will be the most complimentary.  

I have heard nothing but great stuff about my surgeon.  People have randomly told me that I should have Dr. Dinick perform my surgery and when I tell them he is the one doing it they are so excited for me.  Evidently, he is excellent which just makes me even happier.  When you are having a surgery like this done you want the very best after all.  So, until February comes, I will continue to go to the gym and tone and tighten everything up.  I have already noticed that my arms are getting firmer, and I have been told that I am starting to get visible muscle tone in my legs.  Is it odd that I am kinda sorta starting to like going to the gym?  Shhhh, don’t tell anyone that!!  lol

Consultation!!! Good and Bad News

So...I had my consultation appointment and it was very informative and also very upsetting/exciting all at the same time.  I will dive right in.  James went with me because I wanted to have him there to help make any decisions (which turned out to be a good thing) and just be moral support.  The lady who walked me in asked what I was there for and when I told her it was to have a consult on a tummy tuck and breast lift that my insurance covered she quickly informed me that my insurance does NOT cover the breast lift.  You can imagine my surprise since we were specifically told at the start of this whole process a year ago that it was covered.  It is of course possible that I (we) misunderstood somehow (I doubt it) or that they simply got things mixed up (likely) but either way you can only imagine how hard this hit me.

Although I can obviously not post any pictures as proof I can say that my breasts are NOT looking good anymore.  I don’t know how to describe what I am feeling about them but to say I hate how they look would be a huge understatement.  I can’t stand having them out of a bra let alone having James see them.  I have been looking forward to having that breast lift for a year now, for a year...and then to suddenly have this expectation ripped away like that was seriously crushing...I felt heartbroken.

After the lady left the room to let me get in my gown the emotions overtook me and I just started crying.  James tried to calm me down so I would be ok for the doctor when he came in.  I managed to get it together and then the doctor came in.  (Although I cried my eyes out on the drive home, like a LOT!)  We discussed a lot.  First he had me pull up my gown to take a look at my stomach.  I have to tell you....this was a really hard part.  To have someone you just met grabbing at all your loose skin, pulling it, measuring it, quite frankly flopping it....well, you feel very embarrassed, and just wrong really.  THEN, he had me stand naked against a wall with my arms up and folded like I am a genie so he could take pictures for the insurance company.  My face is not in the picture at least, but still...that as well was kinda odd.  

Next we talked about what he wanted to do.  As I expected he wants to do the horizontal full tummy tuck from hip bone to hip bone.  But due to the extra skin I also have in the upper middle area he also thinks it would be best to do the vertical tummy tuck.   With this he would also include (thankfully free of charge) liposuction along the pubic line and on the top area of my stomach as well.  During surgery he will also be tightening up my muscles....which is so cool!  The vertical tummy tuck is not covered by insurance, and will cost $1850.00 which must be paid in full before surgery.  That will not be a problem thank goodness.  

We then discussed the breast lift because I wanted to know how much it would cost for me to still do it.  James assured me (while waiting for the doctor to come in) that no matter what we would be getting it done if that is what I needed....and trust me....it is needed.  So again I disrobed and he measured them, checked them...all that stuff.  He recommends small implants along with the lift and for all of that, and hospital billing, his time, etc...it comes to $8950.00.   YIKES!!
If I decide to have that done as well and can get the money it can be done at the same time as the tummy tuck.  James and I are going to look into different things we can do to get the money.  Get a loan from the bank that we can pay off...or maybe try to get half on our own and then a loan for the other half.  I don’t know, but we will figure it out.  If I can’t get it done at the same time I guess I will have to wait awhile longer...but it will get done!  

The healing process for the tummy tuck is 3-4 weeks.  I will basically be walking around the house for exercise, but that should only be every couple hours for a short period of time.  Other than that I will be sitting down to watch TV all day everyday.  oh darn.  lol    I will be able to do the gym again (aerobic only) after 6-7 weeks, and then everything else after 4 months.   With the breast lift I would have to wear a special surgical bra, and with the tummy tuck a special shirt will be worn for the first 6 weeks everyday all day.  

SO....the tummy tuck surgery is scheduled for February 7th 2013.  I am SO EXCITED!!!  Can’t wait to get rid of these stretch marks AND have a flat stomach.  ALSO, very hopeful that we can find a good loan with a low APR so I can get the money for the breast lift so I can have both surgeries done at once instead of separately.  I really don’t want to go through the pain twice. It would also be nice to be healed up by summer for everything we do during those months.  Please pray for me to have some peace of mind, and patience....I need it.  :)  

P.S. I'll be getting the Fleur-de-Lis image all the way to the right

2 More Days!

Just two more days and I will be having my consultation appointment at the Barix Clinic.  I am SO excited about this.  I am going to bring a notebook/paper and write down all the questions I have so I don’t forget things I want to know about it.  Going to be writing down everything really.  I don’t want to forget a thing and I want to be able to tell my friends accurately what the doctor said.  I have so many ideas and thoughts that I am curious about...I just can’t wait to talk to the doctor and find out everything!  How long is the healing process?  How much will it hurt?  (A LOT I am sure)  How long until I can lift average weight again?  When can I go back to the gym?  Will I be having both surgeries (tummy tuck and breast lift) at the same time?  So many thoughts running through my head.  I will of course take all my notes and write a blog on here all about it so everyone can keep up on what is happening.    :)