Chest Bone Uncertainty

My appointment/check up on the 31st can not come soon enough.  I have more than a few questions and one concern.  The concern is in relation to a pain (moderately painful)
I am having on what I think is either the bone that goes down the middle of my chest or it might be the spot where one of my ribs start right next to that chest bone.  Either way all I know is that when I move a certain way, or when that bone is even a little pushed on it really hurts.  I can only imagine that with all the massaging I was doing to that area to help the swelling go down I possibly bruised the bone….can that even happen?  I have no idea.  I am no longer massaging it though since I don’t want to make the area more sore.  I am pain free right now except for that.  

Luckily, that pain has nothing to do with my implants as far as I can tell...but I am wondering if maybe the pain is in relation to the surgery somehow, or like I suspect, related to the massaging.  Hard to know really.   But I am anxious to find out and have it get better.  The other questions I have for my surgeon are just about the way one breast feels in a particular area versus the other one….stuff like that.  All things that will be easy answers for him but that I have no clue about.  

In non boobie related news, still maintaining my weight, eating well, and exercising 3 days a week.  Of course, right now the exercise is limited to walking on the treadmill or outside, but something is better than nothing.  I feel good about just being able to any form of a workout at this point.  

Still weighing myself every day to keep a close tab on how I am doing.  I bounce between 153 pounds and 154 pounds.  Not bad.  It’s where the docs want me to stay anyway so that is fine.  I was using the My Fitness Pal app pretty religiously, but it has been almost a month of not using as of late.   I seem to be doing ok without it though...I think I know by heart which foods are how much fat and how much of them to eat per day.  The only time I really need it is when I am at a restaurant and need to know how much fat is in their food.   Which of course...is usually too much anyway.  lol

I am DUMB!!!!!!!

Well...sometimes I just feel like I must be the dumbest person around.  Yesterday I was helping Isaiah hang up a large poster in his room and since I am taller than he is I was reaching up and trying to push in a thumb tack.  Not realizing that it would be hurt, I pushed it in.  It did hurt.  And then my dumb ass decided to push one more in for good measure.  ugh.  All I can do is shake my head at myself really because after the first one I should have just stopped.   The entire rest of the day I was hurting, not terribly, but hurting, and this morning, after a long nights sleep, I thought I would feel fine but I am still sore.  Just 30 seconds ago while typing this I received a sharp pain that really hurt.   :(

Of course I can’t help but be worried that I injured myself.  James thinks I will be fine, he feels like I just stretched and pulled on the incisions and now they are really sore, but everything looks fine still and I didn't hear anything to indicate that stitches may have popped.  But I continue to worry anyway and considering that I am continuing to get sharp pains right now it is hard not to.  

Why am I so dumb?   I mean really have I not learned any lessons at all?  It’s so hard to just do nothing at all….I feel so useless and like a burden to everyone.  James reassures me that I shouldn't feel that way and that everyone wants to help to make sure I heal up properly this time...but man it’s rough.  Planning on relaxing a lot today...maybe just do my Bible study a bunch.   

Speaking of the Bible...if you are reading this and you are a praying person please pray for me to have self control, and to be humble, and to ask for help when I need it.  I obviously need the extra help and I know that it can only come from God at this point.   Thanks!

2 Weeks!

Today is my two week mark...I am officially allowed to drive today.  Sadly I don’t think I will be doing very much driving just yet.   I still get pretty sore just doing regular daily activities so James and I agreed that my driving should be limited for another 2-3 weeks.   Just go places that are totally necessary and try to still have others drive me places if I can.  The less I am doing the better.  

The swelling is going down and things are looking a lot better.  The glue that is holding the stitches together is starting to come off (as it should) and the shape of the breast is looking a lot more like normal.   The daily pain I am experiencing is also greatly improved.   It isn't until the end of the day that I get really sore and of course that all depends on how much activity I had.  

One thing I am starting to consider is buying a special pillow that allows women with breast implants to comfortably sleep on their stomachs.  I have not slept on my stomach in over a year and I can not even tell you how much I miss it.  I am beyond sick and tired of sleeping on my back.  I saw an advertisement for one and I plan on looking them up and seeing how expensive they are.  I feel like this would greatly improve my sleep.  

So anyway….that is the update for now.  Will write again soon with another update.  :)

1st Check Up

So....my appointment went really well....sadly even the little things I thought I could do...I can't.   I tried today to be helpful before the Wildtree party and was wiping counters and dusting...I got sore from that and then at my appointment when I brought it up my doc said that even that arm movement works the chest muscles....so I can't do that either.  I have another couple weeks of nothingness.  Even once I can drive...I shouldn't do it much...and my arms should stay low for about another 4 weeks.  Other than that though all is well....still swollen....so that will go down.  He thinks it all looks good and I just need to keep doing what I am doing....which is sit on my butt.   Very frustrating....but I know it is worth it and will guarantee my proper healing.

Post-Op

Well....yesterday went well.   Surgery went a little longer than expected because I had a lot of scar tissue that he decided to remove.  He said that the scar tissue could have been what was causing my sharp pains in my chest.  When I got home yesterday I was basically a zombie.  I could hardly stay awake let alone type.  Any messages I did try to type took me forever and had lots of misspellings.  This morning though I am doing much better in regard to my alertness and although I am not taking any pain meds the pain is pretty tolerable.
The only thing that concerns me right now are how my breasts are looking.  I know that I only just had surgery yesterday, but when I saw them today I seriously almost freaked out and held back the tears.  They just look awful.  If I could post a pic I would.  James took a look however when he got home and said he feels like the things I am concerned about are all swelling related and will improve as the days and weeks go by.  I also sent my surgeon a text asking about it and he called me and wanted me to take pics to send him, which I did.  He also said that my concerns are all due to swelling and not to worry.  Just massage the areas and swelling will go down and I will see improvement.  I guess I just had this unrealistic expectation that I would see them and they would look perfect...I guess I shouldn't expect that after just getting sliced open and having tons of swelling.

I can not drive for 2 weeks....so that stinks.  I have to rely on everyone else to get me things and take me places which of course is frustrating but I have to follow directions.  My parents and James have been a great help.   The kids too.   James is cooking dinner right now as I type, and Isaiah has helped with laundry too.  Gonna be a very long year though of me not lifting anything.  ugh...

During my naps today I kept having dreams that I was at Kroger and even though I wasn't working there I kept feeling like I had to help them stock bags and stuff.  So I was lifting all this heavy stuff knowing I shouldn't and then feeling bad about risking ruining this surgery too....then in my dream I was worried James would find out and get mad at me.  Obviously I am secretly worried about my ability to stick to not lifting heavy things.  Being a Mom I just automatically want to do everything....it will be hard to not.  Anyway...so that is the latest update for now.  I will write another update in a week or so.

Tomorrow!!

Today I get to eat breakfast and lunch...and that's it.  After 11:30am it is only clear liquids...blah!   Gotta be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 6am which is way earlier than I would like but at least I will be coming home earlier too....thinking positive right?  lol

James will be working from home tomorrow to take care of me...Friday though he is back to work.  At least the kids have an early release day from school so they can help out once they get home.  I think I will be fine though....it will hurt...but it's nothing I am not used to.   I feel like I am a pro at having surgical procedures down now...lol....this is the 5th one in 2 1/2 years!!   YIKES!  

Hanging out at Frog Island

Counting Down

Only 22 more days until surgery.  I feel like at this point I am just trying to get as much done around the house as I can before I am unable to do anything for a very long time.  I plan on painting Evelyn’s dresser, a couple rooms, and then doing lots of touch up painting around the house as well.  With all the up and down movement my arm will be doing with a roller I know that is something that needs to be accomplished now instead of later.  This whole situation makes me wish I had a laundry shoot.  How nice would it be if I could just throw things down and have them land in a basket right in the laundry room?  That would be amazing.  They should really build those into more homes again.  

I have been experiencing pain still in my breasts but it all depends on what I did that day and how heavy of an item I lifted.  I notice it mostly when I work at the library after I lift heavier boxes of books and stuff.  I am so thankful that my Mom and James will be helping me out when it comes to volunteering at the library until I am back to normal.  I know most people would just say to stop doing the library all together for awhile but really I don’t want to lose the position I have there.  If I stop, someone else has to take over, and I don’t want that to happen.

I am doing really great still in regards to eating right and maintaining my weight.  I have been using the My Fitness Pal app to keep me where I need to be (no more than 45 grams of fat per day) and I am back to exercising again too.  Of course that will be short lived when I have surgery...it will just be walking for awhile after that…..or maybe bike riding.  I am having more smoothies and trying to actually cook more items instead of eating things that are easily microwaved.  James has been really helpful about helping to monitor me when he is home.  If he sees me going to grab a snack he will question if I should really be having it or not.  It keeps me in check which is SO helpful.  Everyone needs someone to hold them accountable.  

I think the hardest thing for me to deal with will be NOT doing all the regular everyday chores that I am used to.  Vacuuming, laundry, grocery shopping….even scrubbing hard to clean dishes.  All of these things require using some chest muscles and I won’t be allowed to do that.  Hopefully I won’t be restricted from driving for too long!  That would be really bad.  lol