My Hero = My Daughter

It is always hard when you see your children suffering through the same food addictions and struggles that you yourself did as a child and as an adult...hell...as I still do!   Evelyn is a thicker girl...no denying that.  But not fat by any means.  But when you are the thicker girl and do not have a flat tummy you often feel fat, and just plain unhappy with how you look.  These feelings happen in our children just like they do in adults.   Evelyn struggles with wanting to look like all her skinny friends but also with knowing that it’s just important to be healthy and eat right and love THAT body...your healthy body, no matter what the size.  

I talk to her often about those feelings and how I went through the same thing when I was her age.  Although I don’t know exactly how she is feeling during all this I know that for me I felt invisible, and yet also exposed.  Invisible because I often felt like I didn’t fit in so I was left out by many of the kids when it came to birthday parties and just the hanging out at recess time.  But then at the same time I felt exposed...because everyone could see why I was different.  There was no hiding it.

I remember being teased often in 4th grade by a particular girl about my size.   She was of course the size of a twig and was in the more popular crowd.  One day at lunch I had simply had enough, and I punched her.  Can’t remember where I hit her, face, arm, who knows...but I know she threw food in my face in return and then in typical lame girl fashion we began pulling hair.  I remember taking a good chunk out of it too.  lol  She didn't tease me anymore.  

Eventually I did slim out...and for a brief time I did dress a bit cuter in middle school...but then something happened that reverted me back, and I decided once again that I was fat when I got into high school, and started wearing bigger jeans and t-shirts so I could hide it.  Looking back at old pictures I realize that I was indeed not fat...still thicker...but actually had a flat tummy.  Why did I think I was fat?  I really can’t remember.  Maybe someone said something to me and it triggered a memory...maybe it was my friends all being so pretty and small that in comparison I felt fat?  Who knows.  All I do know is I was once again back to hiding my shape.  

I don’t want Evelyn to go through all that.  I don’t want her to feel like she has to hide anything.  I want her to wear cute clothes if that is what she wants and to feel happy and comfortable in them.  I feel like I am doing all I can in the most positive way I can to instill good eating habits for her and our whole family.  No we are not on diets.  But we do acknowledge the nutrition labels and I teach the kids how to read them so they can see if an item is on the healthy side or not. And so they can see how much a serving size is.  This has really helped everyone to eat better portions.  I have also changed to sugar free syrup...and PB2 for our peanut butter which is virtually fat free.  

Evelyn is also taking part in a program after school called Girls on the Run.  They exercise and learn about good health twice a week after school and it is all leading up to running a 5k in May.  This is Evelyn’s second time doing it and she loves it.  She ran/walked 9 laps Thursday and was so proud. Especially since she said she ran most of it.  At the end of the session they did an emotional exercise.  They had  bucket or something, maybe a trash can...and it was called Negative Nelly…

they had to write down a negative thought about themselves and then they were going to throw it away!!  Everyone was encouraged to share what they wrote.  I imagine some girls didn’t write really personal things down (or maybe they did, I wasn’t there so I don’t know) because it can get embarrassing.  But Evelyn did.  She told me that she wrote down that she often times feels “oversized and fat”....and after she read it aloud she threw it away, and everyone clapped for her, and she said she felt so great getting rid of it...just tossing that emotion away.  

She is the bravest young girl I know.  I don’t think I could have ever admitted that out loud at her age...or even in my early 20’s, to a bunch of strangers.  I would have been so scared.  But she did it and had conviction behind it.  Of course this won’t magically fix any feelings she has...but it is a great start!!  And I have total confidence that this girl will continue to grow even more courageous over the years...and become an inspiration to a lot of other ladies.  She already is to me.