Wearing Shorts

Today I wore shorts. 

This may not seem like a big deal, after all I've worn shorts before, these exact ones to be precise. But today was very different. 

Normally when I'm driving my shorts wouldn't just ride up, but they would get bunched up above the extra skin and I would have to pull at them quite a bit to get them right again. And yes, many women experience their shorts riding up as they walk, but not all of those women have to contend with it happening and the world having full view of saggy, loose, extra skin from weight loss. 

It mentally plagued me each time I wore a pair of shorts but I forced myself to wear them anyway, because I try to not let fear of things or anxiety stop me from living life. 

But today .... TODAY WAS DIFFERENT!!!

Each time I got out of the Durango while working I would stand up and think to myself, "Do they need to be fixed?" And each time the answer was no. They were fine. As I walked I kept mentally and physically checking to see if I needed to adjust them, and each time the answer was no. They were worn with ease and comfort, and for the first time since I was 20 years old, I felt comfortable walking around with my thighs being semi exposed. 

I wish I could explain to you how that feels... But you'll just have to take my word for it that it's damn incredible.

6 Weeks Post Op.

6 Week Post Surgical Check-Up Appt:

My surgeon, Dr. Sherick, said I'm healing up amazingly well. I officially have no restrictions! Yay!!! I'm allowed to do whatever I want again as long as I'm feeling comfortable. He also said that normally he would have patients come back at the 3 month mark for the next check up but things are looking so impressive I can wait until the 4 month milestone! Sweet! I'm really happy with the results and feeling so thankful. I finally have my original legs back from before I ever became obese and it feels so good! 💛My surgeon, Dr. Sherick, said I'm healing up amazingly well. I officially have no restrictions! Yay!!! I'm allowed to do whatever I want again as long as I'm feeling comfortable. He also said that normally he would have patients come back at the 3 month mark for the next check up but things are looking so impressive I can wait until the 4 month milestone! Sweet! I'm really happy with the results and feeling so thankful. I finally have my original legs back from before I ever became obese and it feels so good! 💛

Medial Thigh Lift

On March 6th at 7:30 am I had my Bilateral Medial Thigh Lift. WOW... that was some interesting new pain levels. Not at all as painful as the horizontal and vertical tummy tuck, but still very painful and just in a different way. Surgery went really well. Two hours and forty minutes in surgery and then a couple hours in the recovery area. Trying to move and sit in the wheelchair to get from there to the car was an ordeal. But also, could have been much worse, since sitting down and getting up and down, is where I experience most of my pain. I didn't shed any tears or cry-out about it however when I did have to do things involving that. Dealing with the pain, sucking it up! If I am aware things will be painful, I can handle it. Sitting on the toilet is very painful due to the hardness of the seat. So, James made it a point on day 2 or 3, to purchase a cushioned toilet seat for me. It doesn't totally solve the problem, but it does help a great deal.

The incisions are all along the very top of my thighs right against my groin. It basically creates, along with my tummy tuck scar, a triangle surrounding my groin area. Kinda funny really. Initially when I arrived home standing to long caused an upset stomach, and I was very sleepy off and on from the anesthesia and pain meds. I also couldn't use the stairs well. As you can imagine lifting my legs more than 3-6 inches off the ground was quite painful. I ended up sleeping on the couch that night, and James did too. He wanted to be close by to me in case I needed help.

I had two drains coming out above the groin area, and as usual those are a big annoyance, although clearly necessary. It just isn't fun dealing with them in general, especially in the shower. By the second night I was able to go up the stairs and sleep in my own bed. That was a big win. We managed to find a semi comfortable way for me to get in and out of the bed without much pain, that involved me kind of rolling out. LOL

Seems silly but it works.

I took the pain meds they prescribed me for 3 days. By day 4 I only took the one at night and also the following night. They can sadly make you constipated and did. I had only had a bowel movement of very small amounts and it was incredibly difficult to get out, which created very painful hemorrhoids took a bunch of Collace on the night of the 11th which actually upset my stomach, and by the morning of the 12th, I had diarrhea, and everything came out. Thank goodness. Also on the 12th I had my first post op surgery checkup. All is well and so well in fact that I had my drains taken out. YAY!! My surgeon, Dr. Sherick, said that my legs look great and that I should expect that over time the skin will loosen some and look more natural, but of course won't look like it did before. I would sure hope not! LOL

I can't wait till I can comfortably sit in a car and on a toilet without pain again. Probably won't be Door Dashing anytime soon, I suspect until early April. I'll be including a picture of what things looked like before, and then on the first day of surgery. It's pretty amazing really!

Medial Thigh Lift

 The next cosmetic surgery has been a long time coming. It's been 12 years since I had my weight loss surgery and I have finally decided to venture into the next form of "feeling put together". On March 6th, 2024 (yep, just a few shorts weeks from now) I will be having a Medial Thigh lift. Having the excess skin on my inner thigh removed has been something I've wanted to have done for years and years, but because of the cost, and always feeling like it was something I should just deal with, I hadn't look into it previously. 

After what felt like ages, I decided to discuss the topic with James. He agreed that it would be ok to use the yearly bonus money he gets toward this procedure. I was thrilled! About 2 months ago I scheduled a consultation at what I felt was a well-reviewed surgeons office in Ypsi/Ann Arbor. The surgeon I met with was well spoken, clear, and made me feel comfortable. I really wanted to get two surgeries done at once, the thigh lift and a sort of Butt Lift, where the excess skin above my butt would have been removed. Sadly, that was an extra $!0,000 that I do not have. ugh. 

That was ok though, in due time I will get that done as well. For now, I have a thigh lift happening (very soon!) and I couldn't be happier about it. I don't quite know how to properly explain the total joy it will bring me to have this done. Although I always force myself to wear shorts, and swimsuits, I have always had a sense of unease about it. My loose skin isn't awful, but it doesn't look good, and it certainly makes me feel less confident and less physically attractive. Even though I realize, that isn't true.

I have my pre-op appointment scheduled for the 20th of this month.... everything will be paid for at that time and it won't be long after that the surgery is upon me. I can admit to being a bit nervous about this one. Unlike the tummy tucks, and breast surgeries, this one I can't hide as easily with the kind of clothes I want to wear if things go wrong. That has me a tad nervous. BUT.... all the reviews and pictures I have seen from this surgeon are excellent, so I know it will be fine. I will of course update after the surgery as soon as I am able. Hopefully the road to recovery won't be too painful.

Goal Reached!!

Well, it's been a very long time since I have posted anything in this blog, but I felt like it was finally time especially since I have some news that is simply AWESOME that I should have written about right away but just didn't make time for!! As you all know, I have been struggling for the last 5-7 years to get back to a weight that I feel more comfortable at. I was hovering for a while around 165 back around 2017 and thought that was not good, then later, I jumped up to 180-185 pounds and although not fat by any means (and still able to wear a bikini) I was NOT comfortable at all with how my body was looking in some regards, and also, I didn't like being that close to the 200-pound mark. That made me VERY nervous. I struggled for a couple years with being fully committed to what I needed to do so this goal could be reached. 

 About a year and a half ago however I decided it was time. I couldn't keep pushing it off anymore. It took longer than I would have liked simply because I had many, MANY trips that I took over that time period (one of them a month-long road trip by myself) and when you are traveling it can be hard to maintain a specific way of eating. But...I am happy to say that finally, after trying very hard and being diligent, have reached the goal weight I decided made me feel the most comfortable. 160 pounds! I know what you are thinking, I was so close to that years and years ago and thought I needed to be 150 pounds. But once I was at 180 for so long, I realized that actually 160 was a good look, and that I definitely didn't want to be around 145-150, because back then when I was, everyone and myself kind of thought I was looking a bit too skinny. So, here I am having reached the goal of 160 pounds. YAY!! Technically I am even lower than that, because this morning I was at 159.6. :) Gotta love it!

 

I posted about this the day of on social media website Facebook and Instagram... it happened about 4-5 days ago. I of course took the obligatory bikini pic, which I will post on here as well. lol It feels good to be at the weight that I wanted, and I really feel like I look great. I am so happy with myself, being able to maintain it, and looking and feeling awesome again when I am wearing certain types of clothes. I recently even tried on some lingerie that I haven't worn for awhile (not because I was too big for it) and when I put it on I couldn't help but think I looked so much better in it now than I did the last time I wore it. SUCCESS!! You can really see the difference in my face shape, and my arms. So there you have it, FINALLY.... I did it. I feel like it took me way too long but at least I can say I did it, and I feel really good about being able to maintain this as well. I will do my best to write in here again sooner though, I really need to be better about it.

 

Over and Over Again...

As always, I am still at a weight that is healthy, but not where I feel comfortable. I have written about this MANY times and every time I say what I will do and then I do it, for awhile... and then something happens that ruins it or derails it for awhile. It's frustrating and annoying to me. I realize though that this isn't anything new. I have a food problem. That is why I had weight loss surgery in the first place. If it was easy for me to lose weight I wouldn't have gotten fat to begin with. My lowest weight after all the nips and tucks was 145 pounds. That proved to be too skinny and not look as good on me. I eventually got up to 160 and was very happy right there. Looking good and felt good. About 4-5 years ago however I ended up weighing 170-173 pounds steadily. I don't really know for sure what made that happen. Could be many factors I suppose. Not watching my fat and caloric intake well is the most likely culprit. I wasn't happy with that number, but not unhappy either since I still looked good and felt sexy.

Recently I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding and excitedly said yes. My first thought was, I need to get back down to weighing 160 pounds because I need to feel my best for her wedding pictures and look the best I can FOR HER for these photos. I was doing good...started at 174 pounds and lost 3 in just a couple weeks... then I went on a trip for 5 days to New Orleans and of course ate tons of fatty yummy food while there gaining that whole 3 pounds back. THEN, after that I somehow managed to gain an additional 4-5 pounds and now as of this morning I weigh an annoying 180 pounds! ugh... quite frankly I am sad and disappointed in myself. How did this happen? Why did this happen? It all comes down to me and not doing what I already know I should be doing. It's as simple as that really.

SO...enough of the whole, "I'm gonna do this/that/and the other thing starting right now." bullshit. For now on I either do it or I don't, and I don't complain about it anymore. I know how to manage my weight, I know how to live this lifestyle post surgery, and I either do it or don't. Simple. Period. End of story. So no longer will I be bringing this up. The next time you hear from me will either be to say that I did it and reached that 160 pound goal (or very close) or you won't hear from me at all about it because that means I wasn't making an effort. And if I wasn't making a strong effort, then that means it must not be very important to me.

I am so thankful that I was able to have weight loss surgery, I am so thankful it worked and that after that I had tummy tucks and breast lifts/implants. It was painful, but worth it! After that comes management, and really self management is the hardest part of all. No joke! So...there ya go... no more complaints. Cross my heart!

P.S. Yes, this picture is current. Just a few days ago.

Photo Shoot Fun

     One thing I want to be sure to do while I can is take the time to take pictures of myself while I'm feeling good about not just my looks, but my health overall.  4 years ago I did a photo shoot just for fun, and in 2018 I did it again.  I feel like it will be great to be older and look back on these images.  To see all the hard work and effort that I put in to stay healthy.  It's been 7 years since I had my weight loss surgery, and although I have put on 15 pounds over the last few years from not watching my calories like I should, I still look great and feel great!  It's important to celebrate that have fun beautiful images to commemorate it.  Hope enjoy looking at a few of them. I am having them printed, and putting them in an album.